where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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