Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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  (904): I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything. http://tfl.nu/zym5
  Replies (71) Good night (821) Bad night (2916)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.

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  (208): I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying. http://tfl.nu/4ymz
  Replies (18) Good night (2522) Bad night (3736)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

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  (586): The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis. http://tfl.nu/rix3
  Replies (17) Good night (5180) Bad night (1220)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today

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  (225): ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today http://tfl.nu/mtu3
  Replies (17) Good night (1283) Bad night (9476)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

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  (815): I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle. http://tfl.nu/ehxx
  Replies (4) Good night (3612) Bad night (919)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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  (570): Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas. http://tfl.nu/sn85
  Replies (5) Good night (2192) Bad night (640)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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  (419): Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation. http://tfl.nu/zsht
  Replies (2) Good night (2002) Bad night (631)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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  (609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj
  Replies (7) Good night (1415) Bad night (873)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

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  (480): This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love. http://tfl.nu/h8jg
  Replies (9) Good night (1469) Bad night (1804)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (492)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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  (705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (1135)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.

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  (857): Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much. http://tfl.nu/89i4
  Replies (0) Good night (970) Bad night (477)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

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  (705): I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught. http://tfl.nu/csvp
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (433)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon

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  (970): She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon http://tfl.nu/u33x
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (280)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION

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  (647): HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION http://tfl.nu/2yk9
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (757)

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