he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
