Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

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  (248): Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox http://tfl.nu/m5tb
  Replies (7) Good night (2003) Bad night (1158)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?

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  (859): Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night? http://tfl.nu/rh55
  Replies (8) Good night (3224) Bad night (855)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i used baking grease as lip gloss

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  (978): i used baking grease as lip gloss http://tfl.nu/a8ny
  Replies (18) Good night (648) Bad night (5540)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

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  (814): you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl http://tfl.nu/ed1u
  Replies (24) Good night (1004) Bad night (6418)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five

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  (240): just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five http://tfl.nu/swbm
  Replies (9) Good night (5236) Bad night (870)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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  (215): Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places. http://tfl.nu/tyy2
  Replies (5) Good night (3049) Bad night (753)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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  (715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey
  Replies (1) Good night (1722) Bad night (788)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)

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  (912): Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :) http://tfl.nu/vv81
  Replies (8) Good night (1713) Bad night (756)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2395) Bad night (603)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (506)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012

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  (217): You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012 http://tfl.nu/onux
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (609)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W

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  (603): Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W http://tfl.nu/om4e
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (642)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

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  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (463)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (555)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.

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  (651): possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer. (651): also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some. http://tfl.nu/7hdm
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (719)

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