idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
