U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?