I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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