So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
God, I missed his penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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