she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
