I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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