I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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