Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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