why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm passing your future prison.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
