the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize