Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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