When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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