Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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