we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
