That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wanna go halves on a baby?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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