I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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