I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
