Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize