I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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