Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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