I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
