i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
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Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't turn off my feet"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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