So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
