if only i could text you this smell
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
