We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
