you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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