so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
