I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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