You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
