I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
