OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
