My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize