You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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