so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize