You really coming over, don't trick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
