I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
