I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
