I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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