My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
