This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
