it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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