Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
