He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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