also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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