just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
