I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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