haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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