If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
