You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
