Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
