whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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