No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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