You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
