This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
