I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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