and she was petting her beer can
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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