Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
