I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
