i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize