His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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