Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
