She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
